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Healing A Creative Block

June 27, 2018, 1:42 AM

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By : Alex

 

I have found it difficult to write blogs for Fortell for a while now, but I never understood why, or how to work on getting past it. In the last several months I have tried to learn a new process called “Focusing”, which was developed by a team led by Dr. Eugene Gendlin at the University of Chicago in the ‘70s. They found that the body holds a lot of knowledge and information. This team developed a process they called “Focusing”, which is a way to access this information and to help people make shifts in parts of their lives they had been stuck in for years. Today I asked a focusing question: “What’s between me and writing a blog?” I heard a song from the ‘80s- “A Girl in Trouble is a Temporary Thing” by Romeo Void. I got on Youtube and played this song over and over again. It made me feel very sad, depressed, and powerless. After listening to this song for a while I realized that my mother had died in 1984. One of her lungs collapsed while she was driving through upstate New York, and when they put her in the hospital she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She was a heavy smoker, but it still was a shock to all of us. She died 3 or 4 months later. I considered myself lucky because I got to spend 10 days with her before she died. But there’s still not much consolation in that. My mother was an alcoholic who dried out, but she never apologized to me for the way she abused me. I always found that strange, but it has been pointed out to me that she probably had no idea of the things she did when she was drunk. At any rate, I asked one of Fortell’s psychics why this thing about my mother was blocking me from writing blogs for Fortell. Her answer, plain and simple, was that I didn’t think she would approve of it. I was speechless. I had no idea I valued my mother’s opinion that much. But it definitely confirmed that the focusing process was right on track. I went back to listen to the song some more, and then I thought maybe I would start writing this blog. It’s not very intriguing, I suppose, but it does illustrate the process I am going through to get through this block. I don’t feel great about this, at this time, but I don’t think it is as strong as it used to be. It is one more step in the process, and that in itself is cause for hope. I’m taking some flower essences to help with the emotional healing, and I thought maybe I should write a letter to my mother and burn it. I should probably also keep on focusing about my mother. This should help with gaining closure with her and help me to move forward in my life. So what triggered this? My girlfriend and I have a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer, and my girlfriend has been sick for a while. I think these things may have triggered a subconscious reaction. That’s just an educated guess. It’s interesting how life works to bring you face to face with the things you try to ignore. Maybe I can get through this stuff my mother this time around, and move forward with my life. The real truth is that my life basically never has been my own. My mother has always been a huge figure in my life, and she scared me a lot when I was younger. I am a survivor of an alcoholic set of parents. This has made it impossible for me to set goals or have any kind of steadiness in my life, although I like to think that is changing. One must have hope for the future!

 

 

 

 

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