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Soul-Searching_-Signs

September 25, 2018, 2:55 PM

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By: Nikki Savage

 

I like to think I follow the signs offered.  I like to think I listen to my body, my heart and my soul in each present moment.  But truthfully, I struggle with this.  I am a seasoned second-guesser.

 

In Chapter 3 of Sacred Compass, we are asked to pay attention so we may see the signs or the leading Spirit offers to help us discern our way.  I feel I’ve gotten better but I know it is hard sometimes for me to trust them.

 

A while back, I was visiting my grandfather’s grave.  It was our birthday and this was something I had done every year since his passing.  I would go to the grave, sit and catch him up on my life and cry for myself missing him.  This one year I asked for a sign that he heard me, that I wasn’t just talking to the winds but that they carried my voice to someplace he could hear.  When I left I stopped at Wendy’s.  I ordered a salad.  Without my knowing, it came with chili.  One of his favorite meals.  I thought this is my sign.  Then thought more about how it couldn’t be until I thought I must have subconsciously known it would come with chili.  Besides, what a ridiculous sign, right?

 

So the next year, I asked for a sign that I couldn’t second guess.  As I drove to the cemetery I searched for my sign.  It was raining as it had every birthday since his passing.  As I drove, I saw a fox just standing in the middle of a field in the middle of the day.  I thought of a thief, like Dora’s “Swiper no swiping”.   Nothing to do with my grandfather.  Couldn’t be my sign.  I keep going and come to a roadblock.  I get a little frustrated that I have to spend time on a detour during my lunch break visit.  But I keep driving and come to a second roadblock on the opposite end.  It was as if only the cemetery portion of the road was closed.

 

At this point, I was desperate to get in there.  I couldn’t miss him and our birthday ritual.  So I drove until I found an access road into the cemetery.  I parked my truck, pulled out my trash bag to kneel on and began to tell him of my year.  I heard a car a pull up.  I kept my head down and silently willed the car to go away.  I didn’t want to be disturbed and was hoping no one was going to get out and see if I was okay out there crying and talking in the rain.   But the car didn’t leave.

 

Feeling a bit self-conscious, I looked up.  I couldn’t see the car as it was behind my truck but I did see my small purse hit the ground from where I knelt.  It took a couple of seconds to realize I was being robbed.

 

I jumped up in time to watch the car speed away along with my larger purse that had my writing journals, some money and my tax return that I had yet to mail.  Thankfully my robbers were caught and all were returned before my entire life could be stolen.

 

In the midst of the moment I didn’t realize, but afterward, it sank in.  I asked for a sign that he sees me, that he hears me, that he looks out for me like an angel.  I saw a fox and thought thief.  The road was closed on both ends.  I received three very clear signs not to visit that day.  I ignored all three.

 

I learned a valuable lesson.  Signs are nothing if we do not pay attention to them.  And we don’t get to decide how they will present themselves. We can only ask and then we just need to listen.

 

What has been your experience with signs from Spirit?  How have you honored these signs?

 

 

 

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