Psychic Blog: Psychics Foretell (astrology, free psychic readings)

On Faith, Feminism and Privilege

July 11, 2018, 4:32 AM

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By : Nikki Savage

 

I’ve only recently come to think of myself as a feminist.  For the longest time, I tried to separate myself from my femininity.  I felt it was being a girl that made me weak.  As I said in previous posts, even the Bible seemed to tell me so.   I tried to work on my masculine traits to make me stronger.  I tried to be one of the guys.

 

When I became a mother, things shifted for me.  Maybe holding space within my body for another human made me appreciate the strength of the feminine.  Having to be soft and allow the process take over my life taught me the strength of acceptance.  Acceptance is feminine.

 

I do believe we are a in time where we are seeing the effects of not allowing softness, not in our men and not in our women.  Repressing this natural expression has created a culture of intolerance and inequality. And within the feminist movement itself, the intolerance and inequality is present.

 

As I am growing into my femininity, I am finding new levels.  Levels where I am the one holding privilege because of my race.  It was a hard pill to swallow after working on getting right with me as a woman only to find a new level of wrong I’ve been a part of.  But it is true.  I have been both denied and granted access to paths of success and privilege solely based on my appearance.

 

In my spirituality, I have been guilty of saying we are all one.  And on a certain level I know this to be true.  When we get above ego, we are part of a collective soul.  I believe that.  But we do not live in a world that supports this.  And until we do, saying we are all “one” and “I don’t see anyone as different”, denies the experience of anyone who has not been given the same freedoms and undermines the voices of those oppressed by the systems in place.

 

Being this is a spiritual community, I feel compelled to speak on this both as a way of inviting the dialogue on feminism and also white privilege in the context of spirituality.  I invite the conversation, including being called out on any of my posts.  This may be an uncomfortable topic for some.  But I’m realizing, especially as our faith communities are more and more often being used to justify things that are immoral, that it is necessary.  It isn’t new.  This is very old.   And in the beginning I felt a little triggered by this. But I sat with what made me uncomfortable and started the process of unpacking it all.  It feels bad when you realize your part in a system of oppression, regardless of intention or personal experience.  But I feel I disempower myself when I am not honest about the ways I’ve been wrong in my thinking.  I disrespect my faith when I use it to shield me under the universal umbrella or use it to bypass the reality of the world we live in.  And so I keep at this work because I need to.

 

This is how I feel about this work.  It is personal and deep work.  And if I truly want to help get to a place of “oneness”, I have to recognize why we aren’t one.  Again, the divides aren’t new.  But they are constantly being exploited in new ways.  And I am waking up to it.  And having this space in a spiritual community I would feel remiss if I didn’t make room for this conversation.  How does this show up in your spiritual circles?  Please feel free to share here.

 

This is how I feel about this work.  It is personal and deep work.  And if I truly want to help get to a place of “oneness”, I have to recognize why we aren’t one.  Again, the divides aren’t new.  But they are constantly being exploited in new ways.  And I am waking up to it.  And having this space in a spiritual community I would feel remiss if I didn’t make room for this conversation.  How does this show up in your spiritual circles?  Please feel free to share here.

 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.

Pet Psychic

July 4, 2018, 2:20 AM

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By : Nancy

 

I’m an intuitive for animals as well as people as I channel beings who are alive and passed on to the heavenly realm which is also earthbound spirits such as a pet by your side, that you thought you lost but are there. I predict in readings the reincarnation time and breed for pets and markings so you’ll know who they are to bring them home when their reborn. I am like a Dr. Doolittle, I channel what animals are saying by their breathing and I get psychic information by their barks and I listen to doves talking to me. As a child I used to lay in bed listening to bed listening to Doves and what they were saying. I also had a cat and we had a strong intuition esp bond as cats are psychic and she would wait for me four blocks away from our house on a corner in the bushes at the time I walked home from school everyday and run along aside me. I have had these connections with many cats. Also I’ve had intuition connections with horses and do readings on them as well as house pets

 

I once named a cat “Samantha” that I brought home when I saw her at the animal shelter. It was a sudden impulse I had, I called her “Sam”. She dissapeared several months later. I posted flyers on my street and a woman called me who said “I have your cat but she’s my cat”. The woman told me I live on your street, two buildings down. I ran over there and the cat was with her and she said the cat’s name was “Samantha” and she called her “Sam” and she lost her two years ago. So I helped the cat find her way home. I do missing pet readings for owners. I read animals who are lost by looking at their photo,they tell me “I’m Gone” or “I’m not gone”.

 

I am a vegetarian due to my love for animals and psychic connection to their spirits full of unconditional love.

 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.

 

Healing A Creative Block

June 27, 2018, 1:42 AM

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By : Alex

 

I have found it difficult to write blogs for Fortell for a while now, but I never understood why, or how to work on getting past it. In the last several months I have tried to learn a new process called “Focusing”, which was developed by a team led by Dr. Eugene Gendlin at the University of Chicago in the ‘70s. They found that the body holds a lot of knowledge and information. This team developed a process they called “Focusing”, which is a way to access this information and to help people make shifts in parts of their lives they had been stuck in for years. Today I asked a focusing question: “What’s between me and writing a blog?” I heard a song from the ‘80s- “A Girl in Trouble is a Temporary Thing” by Romeo Void. I got on Youtube and played this song over and over again. It made me feel very sad, depressed, and powerless. After listening to this song for a while I realized that my mother had died in 1984. One of her lungs collapsed while she was driving through upstate New York, and when they put her in the hospital she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She was a heavy smoker, but it still was a shock to all of us. She died 3 or 4 months later. I considered myself lucky because I got to spend 10 days with her before she died. But there’s still not much consolation in that. My mother was an alcoholic who dried out, but she never apologized to me for the way she abused me. I always found that strange, but it has been pointed out to me that she probably had no idea of the things she did when she was drunk. At any rate, I asked one of Fortell’s psychics why this thing about my mother was blocking me from writing blogs for Fortell. Her answer, plain and simple, was that I didn’t think she would approve of it. I was speechless. I had no idea I valued my mother’s opinion that much. But it definitely confirmed that the focusing process was right on track. I went back to listen to the song some more, and then I thought maybe I would start writing this blog. It’s not very intriguing, I suppose, but it does illustrate the process I am going through to get through this block. I don’t feel great about this, at this time, but I don’t think it is as strong as it used to be. It is one more step in the process, and that in itself is cause for hope. I’m taking some flower essences to help with the emotional healing, and I thought maybe I should write a letter to my mother and burn it. I should probably also keep on focusing about my mother. This should help with gaining closure with her and help me to move forward in my life. So what triggered this? My girlfriend and I have a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer, and my girlfriend has been sick for a while. I think these things may have triggered a subconscious reaction. That’s just an educated guess. It’s interesting how life works to bring you face to face with the things you try to ignore. Maybe I can get through this stuff my mother this time around, and move forward with my life. The real truth is that my life basically never has been my own. My mother has always been a huge figure in my life, and she scared me a lot when I was younger. I am a survivor of an alcoholic set of parents. This has made it impossible for me to set goals or have any kind of steadiness in my life, although I like to think that is changing. One must have hope for the future!

 

 

 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.

The Invisible Stealer

June 20, 2018, 4:00 AM

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By : Alex

 

I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but I imagine this is a fairly common scenario in people’s houses. You just had something a little while ago, and now you can’t find it. This happens to me from time to time, and it’s really annoying. Especially when you really need something important… like your keys, for example.

We have a dog in the house named Horus that loves to play with the laser thermometer. It looks like a small pistol, but it puts out a little red dot. He sees this little red dot, and he goes nuts. He’ll chase it around and around, probably forever or until he gets totally winded. (I always stop before he does – I’m a lot older than he is and I have seniority….)

Every once in a while I can tell when Horus wants to play. It’s almost like he’s smiling. He gets kind of rambunctious, and starts looking at me (because I’m the only one who plays with him, even though he’s not my dog.) When he starts doing that I know he wants me to play with him.

Well, this time, I had just used the laser pointer to measure the temperature of some water I was heating up to wash some clothes. I started looking around in the house for this thing and I couldn’t find it. Hmm. Maybe someone hid it?

I talked to one of Fortell’s psychics about this several years ago and they said that there was an entitiy in my house that would periodically hide things from me. Apparently he is an Indian. He gets his jollies by stealing things from people, but she said he will always give them back.

How to get them back? She said all I had to do was demand, in a loud firm voice, that they return what they took. So I did that a while ago.

How interesting. I just went to use the bathroom and just as I was about to leave, I got up and turned around and there it was on the top of the toilet. Ok, Horus, play time!

 

 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.

Psychic Dreams

June 13, 2018, 6:44 AM

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By : Nancy

 

I’ve had psychic premonition dreams since I was a child. The first exact premonition dream I had was of a small manila envelope that said ” For Nancy, From Aunt Nina O’Connor” and the next day when I awoke I saw it on the dining room table just as I dreamed, inside was an antique gold bracelet with the initial “N” and in my readings guides often predict jewelry that will be given to them such a man thinking of a ring or bracelet in box. I have clairvoyant visions during my medium channeling the same as I’ve had in my life in my dreams. I see signs with black lettering with an answer to a customers question and also what the person is feeling who they are inquiring about. In my life I have dreamed of black writing on a paper of names and so on and then it happens as I dreamed, I knew the persons name before I heard of it. I dreamt there were people on cells phones before they were used and they were talking on a grass park by the L.A. County River, when I had this dream in the 1980′s it was rural and off limits to the public and years later they changed it with landscaping and path ways just I dreamt of years earlier. Another time I dreamed of a phone ringing and ringing in an empty apartment which was a warning that a relationship would end and a week later it did. Often, the premonition dreams are to warn you to prepare for something upsetting to prepare so you are not so suprised when it happens and often the dreams are sent by your guides so you may take measures to prevent something from happening by your actions. Your guides are called this for a reason as they guide you with your life and send dreams to give you a message, some dreams are from your imagination and subconscious, some are psychic premonitions. I awake recalling my dreams and ask who sent the dream? Then ponder the meaning and importance. I once dreamt of a fox jumping over a white table cloth in a restaurant with people I knew who were untrustworthy as the dream informed me they are sly foxes and I then knew not to trust them or waste energy on them any longer with business I was doing as betrayal was predicated and therefore I knew. I dreamt of a fire at a Mexican Restaurant in our area and in the dream a man was standing at a gas station across the street staring at his cell phone calling nine one one looking at the fire burn across the street. When I awoke I told my family about the fire dream I had and when we drove down that street that next day it was burnt down. I later read in the local paper a man called nine one one from his cell as he looked at the fire therefore I learned I dream of emergency while they are happening and this happens often to me, I get crime tips in the middle of the night and jump out of my sleep suddenly knowing the crimes happening and my readings say I am called The Angel Of Stopping Emergency as thats my spirit inside so I use this gift in my customers readings and predict things so they do not happen.

 

 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.

 

By : Nikki Savage

 

We have come to the last of the four agreements as written by don Miguel Ruiz.  In some ways I feel it is the easiest of the four but on some days, maybe not.  The last agreement is simple:

 

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.

 

I say this one is the easiest because I feel this is the one that we are completely in control of in that no one else is involved.  Being impeccable with our words involves speaking to others who may or may not be hoping to draw us into an argument.  Taking nothing personally is avoiding our own hurt feelings over the words or actions of another.  And making no assumptions involves our perceptions of others.   But doing our best?  That is all our own.

 

I know sometimes others may drop obstacles along the path to being our best, but they can’t stop us.  Only we can.  And really, only we know what our best is at any given time. Our best fluctuates.  It can be better or worse depending on our wellness or what other things we having going on in our world. But we know if we gave it all we had, even if we didn’t have it all.

 

The beauty in giving everything our best is in leaving it all out there so when it is over, we are not burdened with any baggage like regret or the “shoulda/coulda”s.  We don’t feel bad for letting anyone down if we really did do our best.  But when we know we didn’t give it everything that we could, we let ourselves down.  And there is no escape from knowing that truth even if no one could tell.

 

A byproduct of having a mentality of always doing our best is developing the ability to more mindfully invest our time.  If we truly commit ourselves to always doing our best, it can make it easier to say no to things that do not speak to our best selves or that come at a time where our best is just not available.  If we know up front we cannot offer our best selves to the task, no can be the most honest answer we can give.  But what we do agree to, we must honor our commitment and then honor ourselves by doing our best.

 

The thing with all the four agreements is that not a single one of them is a matter of just agreeing.  They are all an ongoing commitment  to showing up in the best possible way each and every moment.   They are holding ourselves accountable for our reactions and responses and knowing how to avoid putting ourselves in positions that compromise our integrity.  Sometimes honoring the Four Agreements has us pausing and disengaging with a situation.  Sometimes it has us amplifying a situation.  Sometimes it isn’t about the scenario but about our own health and wellness.  These are all things that are never still, so how we go about navigating them will always change too.

 

Each moment brings a new opportunity to be our best.  Sometimes we rise to the challenge and other times we fall short.  So as much as we are in control of how we respond, we are all only human and things can get the best of us.  So as we walk the path of the agreements, we do well to carry a pocketful of grace for ourselves.  We don’t serve anyone when we beat ourselves up when we stumble.  We need to help ourselves up and keep doing our work.  The world needs us to do our best.  And I have faith that we will.

 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.


 
By : Nikki Savage

 

Here we are at the third agreement.  We are now impeccable with our words and we take nothing personally.  Or at least we have more mindful tongues and a few less triggers hopefully.  And now we come to the third of the four agreements from don Miguel Ruiz.

 

Don’t Make Assumptions.

 

When we make assumptions about others, we are setting up expectations around things that are not known for fact.  We are setting up situations that are more likely to end with hurt feelings and disappointment.  Sometimes we assume because of our own personal experiences.  We believe our ways of doing something or our perception to be the common experience shared by all.  We meant no harm.  We just thought….    Yeah.  See?

 

Sometimes we assume because it is easier.  Maybe we don’t want to take the time to find out or maybe we don’t want to ask uncomfortable questions.  And again, we can end up creating confusion or embarrassment when the true situation ends up being much different.  Even if we didn’t mean to create a misunderstanding, we have to own up when we do.

 

This agreement is powerful in practice.  It teaches us how to not become attached to our expectations.  If we do not assume that we will get some desired result, we can not bind ourselves to the outcome.  When we set up expectations and assume they will be met, we begin to formulate pictures of what that looks like on us and make plans around those pictures.   We begin to create futures that aren’t held to any real substance.  They might become true but they also might not.   And conversely, if we assume our expectations will not be met, we begin to eliminate possible scenarios from our future plans, limiting our experience and possibly missing out.

 

When we are not tied to our expectations, we can experience the now more fully.  We get to listen and allow it to unfold.  We know the end results we imagine are based more solidly in truth because we did not assume.  And we can move forward towards our desired outcomes with sure footing  Our mind’s vision, unclouded by false perception, will see our path ahead for what it is and hopefully will be soft enough to see places as yet unimagined.

 

It is hard not to assume.  It is hard not to take things for granted.  It is hard to feel some things are common sense and so everyone understands.   We each have our own way and the view along our ways just aren’t the same.  We have a collective experience but we do not share the way of our experience in common.   But it is up to us to decide how those views shape the view ahead.

 

How do you feel assumptions color your perception of your experience?

 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.


 

 

 

 

 


Spirit Guides

May 23, 2018, 3:24 AM

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By : Nancy

 

I could see my spirit guides when I was young and they were children, I called them my imaginary friends. I told others they were right by me and I took them in the car driving then later on in life I realized my imaginary friends were my spirit guides.My dad reached me when he died, I picked up a mug of his in my cupboard and all the cups chimed. A mirror fell down that he’d hung on the wall and when I went to the cemetery the leaves blew around my legs like a whirl wind as I stared at his name and later on in life he started communicating to me on my angel board spelling out words each night I did this by a white candle that flickered high and moved back and forth. This is how I became a medium years ago channeling spirits on my angel board, I also did this when I was a child. I met my spirit guides doing this work and they are friends and relatives from this life, an ancient being who I channeled on my Ouija Board as a child, my Gaurdian Angel and others.The average amount of spirit guides a person has is five. They have job positions to protect you and guide you by their title’s of a Gaurdian Angel, a love life guide,  money guide, safety guide and a health guide. Also, in this new day and age of electronics many have an internet guide computer techy, a person who lived in this generation. There may up to fifty guides who are mostly angels around spiritual people. Some people have fifteen to twenty guides all the time. They are sent from heaven to be by the person and the Angels keep a score card and report it as your Spirit guides are in the heavenly realm on earth working as a group around you all the time. They are the ones sending you a dream to help you and to awake with the clear image of a answer you’ve asked for and by the thought you wake up with you may know the answer they’ve sent to your subconscious which is clearer upon waking in a rem state before you begin your logical thoughts. Angels and Spirit Guides are the great inspiration in your mind and soul especially when its not too cloudy of everyday task’s and meditating is a way to receive information to guide you. Also, a fleeting sudden thought as intuition may be sent from your spirit guide to steer you on the right direction. Your spirit guides may also warn you of a situation or person to make you aware to protect yourself and a positive dream and feeling may be sent to know who to love and trust and what is good for you. It is enlightening for your life to be able to receive information from your spirit guides.

 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.

Past Life Readings

May 16, 2018, 4:20 AM

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By Nancy

 

 

Past life readings help you know who are in this life as we are the being and spirit soul inside in every life we are the same person. It can help a person when they know the creative talented gifts they hold used in their past life. They may have been a famous musician and would be musically inclined or know their children should take music lessons or perhaps they were an artist and would steer them in the direction of art lessons.
 

I’ve done my own past life readings by time travel similar to the movie “Back To The Future” it’s as if I’m really there as I am time traveler,astral projector and clairvoyant in conjunction with being a psychic medium channeler I receive information from the heavenly realm state as my guides provide information by writing and speaking for them. Many have the same Guardian Angel in every life who provides information on your past lives as they are always by your side watching over you. Some stay in heaven awhile and some are reincarnated right away to the same era and decade. I’ve discovered much of my taste is similar to my past life as I’ve been attracted to the 1940’s era of Art Deco furnishings and Palm’s and decorated my home this way in this life and then discovered I lived in the 1940’s. Also, I  love italian food my whole life and I lived a life in Italy. I had a life as an Indian and I am free spirit and as a child I’d love going barefoot, playing guitar and sitting in a tree writing a poem. I was wealthy in my recent last life and as a child I loved fancy party dresses and my hair in rag curls and I was also The Queen of England. Doing my past life readings my personality makes sense to me in this life as it’s a combination of many lives and I am a psychic medium in all of lives as we are the same person in every life.
 

In my recent past life, the life right before this was one I was a channel writer clairvoyant and did  Ouija Board reading’s. I did a time travel and saw myself in Beverly Hills doing the Ouija Board on a balcony.. I saw myself in a white satin blouse and flared white satin pants as the 1940′s clothing period, I had long honey blonde curled hair and olive skin. I died  Dec 13th,1958 and my name was Karly A. Wilkinson and my married name was Tate. I saw my memorial service at The Beverly Hills Hotel in early 1959 the year I was born. I felt mature as a child and I think it’s because I reincarnated so fast. As a child I had exact psychic dreams of things before they happened. I could work the Ouija Board as child and picked it up later  by using a similar tool called an Angel Board that I channeled on and became a medium this way. Then come to find out I did the Ouija Board in my last life. I also felt great when I went to Beverly Hills in this life and came to know I was there not so long ago in my recent past life as we are drawn to the familiar places. I believe I was in heaven three months and right back to earth again to be a human. We also reincarnate with our children,husbands, soul mates as a soul connection and blood lines reincarnate my readings say.
 

In my past lives I was a Viking, a topographer in Jerusalem and interesting enough I choose a Topographer Art Project when I was the Art Docent for my daughters classroom unbeknownst to me. I had a life in China where geese followed me, I love ducks and birds around, I do spiritual readings by hearing them. When I went to London I felt so at home the minute I looked down at the brown stones flying over in the plane I felt like I was home then come to find out I was Catherine Roman Numeral Seventeen the Queen of England and I was called Humble Catherine as I did a time travel and saw myself there. I am a humble person in this life and a combination personality of all my lives I’ve discovered by doing my past life readings.
 

 

We’re PsychicsForetell.com, the most trusted source for the best psychics. We offer live psychic phone readings as well as love, finance and career horoscopes. Disclaimer: Blog contents express the viewpoints of their independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness or accuracy by PsychicsForetell. Any opinions, comments, solutions or other commentary expressed by blog authors are not endorsed or recommended by PsychicsForetell or any vendor. If you feel a blog entry is inappropriate, click here to notify PsychicsForetell.

By : Nikki Savage

 

In continuation of the series on The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, we move to number two.  Like the first one, in theory, this one is simple.  But man oh Manischewitz, this one is a doozy in practice.  Ready for it?  Know it already?

 

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.

 

This one, I imagine, trips up everyone.  How can we not take things that are said to us or about us personally?  These things involve US!  Doesn’t that by default make it personal?

 

Only if we agree to let it.  I know that is way easier said than done.  But really if we can get this down, it is truly an empowering practice.  Let’s dissect this one and see how it works.

 

There is this quote I think of when I look at this.  It has been credited to too many people for me to guess who truly said it, but it goes:  “What other people think of you is none of your business.”  It’s true.  It isn’t our business, unless of course we make it our business.  It is so easy to make it our business.  Sometimes not making it our business feels weak, letting someone talk smack.  That is not what this is about.  If someone is telling lies about us, we do have the right to make sure the truth is told.  But we can do it without taking it personally.  And are better off when we do it that way.

 

If I think about a time where I had some unkind words to speak on someone, even if it was over some wrong they did me, I was usually speaking from a place of hurt or anger or bitterness.   It was usually with the motive to either get support from the listener because I’m hurt or in the hopes to hurt someone back.  Both reasons for my speaking are about me.  Even if the words are seemingly about someone else.  Right, wrong, or indifferent, I’m speaking about my feelings and perceptions of an experience.  My perceptions don’t dictate the feelings of anyone but me unless someone else lets them.  (Note: Before anyone wants to use this as an excuse to not take responsibility for their words and how they may have affected someone else, please refer to the First Agreement.)

 

I may want to make someone feel bad but I can’t make someone feel bad.  They have to take the bait.  Same goes for being the one spoken about.  People can say what they want, but it is within my power to choose my response.  And my response may just be to let it be.  If there is truth to the statement and I was in the wrong, this can be an opportunity to make amends.  If there is no truth to the statements or someone is just trying to hurt me, their words speak more about their character than mine.  Knowing someone wants to have a negative exchange, why would I willingly oblige them?  I don’t have time for that.

 

Now this does not mean we need to lie down and be doormats for every nasty person out there.  It means their behavior does not dictate ours.  When we take it personally, we make it our own.  We pick up the trash they wanted to drop on us.  We perpetuate the negativity.  We keep the cycle alive.

 

If we choose instead to respond in a way that is detached from the emotions behind their words, albeit mindful of them, we don’t get caught up in the emotion.  We can address the issue instead. If we react to the baggage instead of responding to the person, we more than likely won’t find anything but more drama.  We do best to remember that sometimes the best response may be no response at all.

 

Again, I know.  This isn’t easy.  But it helps me when I think of this practice in terms of feelings and energy.  How do I want to feel?  Will putting my energy into taking it personally make me feel that way? Probably not.  But in the heat of some moments, it may feel really good to dish out a verbal beatdown.  However, the aftermath of said beatdown may not feel really good.  In those cases when I feel I need to speak, it’s back to the first agreement and my impeccable words I go.

 

Seems like a lot of work, I know.  But this is the kind of work that offers the biggest rewards.  It’s soulwork.  And that is the one thing I do take very personally.  No one has the power to knock me off that work.  Not unless I give it to them.

 

How do you avoid taking things personally or making things personal?  How do you honor this agreement?  And how has it worked out for you?

 

 

 

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